I Like Ducks....

Concerning the subject of "Openers" when meeting women, most guys put too much emphasis on WHAT to say, rather than HOW to say it.
With that, here's another example of a random, silly opener that was successful.

Here's the scoop:

A friend at work noticed I have a LOT of success with girls, & my phone is constantly blowing up with texts from them. So, last week he asked me what it is that I'm doing, to get so many of them "chasing" me. 

He told me, he can never think of what to say to a girl when he sees one he’s attracted to & wants to meet.

(Sooooo... my wacky, creative mind thought of something on the fly & I just spit it out.)   

     

I told him:
"When you see a girl you want to talk to, walk up to her & say 'I like ducks.' 

Also- try to keep a straight face, even though after a few seconds you'll probably start to smirk & grin a little bit... mainly because it's completely random & out of the blue." 

I could tell he wasn't sure why I would recommend that, so I asked him; "What do you think every other guy is going to ask her or say to her, when THEY approach?"

He thought for a moment & gave a few examples: “What’s your name? Can I buy you a drink? How are you tonight? Do you come here often?"

Me: "Yep! Exactly. And those are the guys you see getting shot down! And by saying something completely different & unusual, you're already standing out from the chumps.

So, after you tell her the "ducks" line, ask her 'So, what do YOU like?'

  If she answers, great!! But if she hasn't said anything after 3-4 seconds, just laugh & tell her you're really just messing with her and introduce yourself. Then take it from there."

When Monday rolled around, I noticed he seemed a little more energetic at work than usual. So when he saw me, he came up & said, "DUDE!!! HOLY SHIT!! You were right!

 I went out Saturday night & saw this chick at the club, so I walked over to her & I used the "ducks" thing…. and it fuckin worked!!" 

Apparently he couldn't keep a totally straight face when he said it, but he was stoked when the girl actually started talking to him & showing a lot of interest.  So, with his energy level being on 100, he projected a fun vibe that she completely latched onto.

He got the kiss… got the number… and they’re getting together in a day or so.

I think the reason it worked for him was because, he was confident that it would. 

He knew I've been having a LOT of success with women for the past several months, so he didn't question it when it came time to approach.  He simply believed it was going to, so he was confident & just had the right vibe to indicate fun.

Sometimes the craziest things work better than you might expect!

;o)

Have trouble flirting??

A lot of guys don’t know how to flirt.  They’re unsure of what it actually is & how to go about doing it successfully.

I’ll give you some tips that should help get you started.

First of all, keep it light & silly.... and flirt with everyone...

(I always flirt with checkout girls / ladies....even the old ones, just to stay sharp & keep myself in the groove.)

Basically, I like to razz them about the way they're scanning my items or bagging them up.... Maybe even about the price of the item I’m buying.

**Important** make sure you're smiling / laughing /winking etc... The key is to just make the interaction fun.

Examples:

"Hey, I see what you're doing... you scanned that twice. you're pretty sneaky!!"

"Did you just give me the Senior discount? Are you trying to make me feel old or something?"

"Nice! you scanned that with such laser precision... your hands are probably steady enough to do surgery on an emergency patient..."

"You know, the reason I came through your checkout line is because, you smell better than the guy down there on register #3"

"Look, don't judge me just because I still buy kids' cereal, I can't help it... Cap'n Crunch is still the boss!!

Just little ridiculous things like that work wonders on getting them to smile.

I mean, think about it... 

How many bitchy, cranky, asshole customers do you think she had to deal with already today?   Sooooo, when you come along in a good mood, and you’re getting her to laugh & have fun for those few minutes, it's totally gonna make her day!

Also- Flirting with girls at clubs or at coffee shops (or wherever) is the same thing. 

It’s all about light, playful teasing & bantering.  Just adapt the context of your “friendly jabs” to the current surroundings & situation & you’ll be golden!

A Pick-Up lesson from an unexpected source.

Who would've thought that back in 1982, a character in a comedy movie could provide some real, usable information?

I was just watching one of my all-time favorite movies, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", and I realized that the character of "Bad Boy" Mike Damone, is a legit PUA.

That means Cameron Crowe, (who wrote the book & screenplay) knows a little somethin’ about how to "Pick up women". 
(I guess I shouldn't be surprised though. After all, he picked up one of the hottest women in Rock History, & was married to her for almost 25 years.... Nancy Wilson of "Heart".)

Throughout the movie, Mike Damone is trying to teach his buddy, Mark Ratner how to get his dream girl. And I kid you not; the advice he gives is SOLID! 

Here's the first conversation they have:
(Mark is talking about this girl he's "in love" with.)

That's when Mike asks whether or not he got her name or number. Mark tells him "No, it's too soon."

Damone's reply is the first clue that guys need to start paying attention. He says, "It's never too soon Rat. I mean, a girl decides how far she's gonna let you go, in the first 5 minutes." 

(Nowadays it's more like the first minute... maybe two…. but let's continue)

Anyway, Damone tells him what to do the next time he sees her in Biology class-

Mike Damone: I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. 
You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. 
I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.

Mark Ratner: Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen. 

Mike Damone: That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude. 

Mark Ratner: The attitude? 

Mike Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have “the attitude.”


Just think about that…..
3 of the most crucial pieces of the puzzle: Confidence, body language, and not expressing any form of neediness...... Totally on point!

Later in the movie, Mark is ready to ask his dream girl, Stacey out. But, he has "approach Anxiety"! (I know right??!!!)

Anyway, Damone gives him a little pep-talk:

 Mike Damone: Look at you; member of the honor roll, assistant to the assistant manager of the movie theater.... I'm tellin' ya, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her, right? 

(Again with the confidence....) He’s basically telling Mark to get out of his own head & just man up!

Fast Forward... Mark's approach paid off, (as shy & bumbling as it was) but Stacey was still impressed that he worked up the nerve to actually talk to her, and they set up a date.

But…. as expected, Mark is nervous & clueless about what to do; he's never been on a date.... So Damone gives him the final bits of necessary info:

Mike Damone: "What you need is my five point plan." 

Mark Ratner: "Come on Damone, I need real help."

Mike Damone: "Rat... men have died trying to obtain this valuable information; but I'm going to give it to you for free."

Mark Ratner: OK fine, what the five point plan?"

Mike Damone: "OK, that's better... First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl.... (as he walks up & puts his arm around a life-size, cardboard display of Debbie Harry from Blondie…) "Oh, Debbie. Hi." 

Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." 

Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "...Isn't this great?" 

Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini & white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."

And five, now this is the most important Rat…. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of “Led Zeppelin IV”... 

(Nowadays, the "soundtrack" may have changed, but you get the idea!)

There are a few other scenes, where Damone himself, demonstrates how it's done… and again, the techniques are rock solid! (Unfortunately though, he picks up Mark's dream girl... because Mark wussed out & didn't close the deal when it was right there.... bummer huh?) 

Anyway, like I said: Who would've thought that back in 1982, a comedy movie would offer legit, useful information on how to attract & pick up girls??

Dealing With Approach Anxiety....

Yes, it can be tough.  Especially when you're just starting out and you're trying to meet girls. That nervous feeling hits the pit of your stomach, and you begin talking yourself out of approaching.

  Here are a few things I've learned & often remind myself of, when I start getting Approach Anxiety. (These are helpful & humorous tips to snap me out of that state).

1: There is no perfect opener. Just to prove a point to myself I used "Dog Crap" to open a girl before... LOL! (Read that blog here)

2: It helps to warm up a bit, by just saying "Hello" to people for a short time before you start approaching. I just casually exchange pleasantries with random people before I go to a club or wherever I plan on meeting girls. Then, I'm used to talking to people & it lessens the anxiety.

3: As soon as I approach, the anxiety goes away. Even if it's been 2 minutes & I've already started to talk myself out of approaching by making excuses. But if I don't approach, the anxiety becomes stronger. 

  Once I realized that, it started making a huge difference. 
It's like jumping into a swimming pool; knowing that the water is going to be cold at first (or just assuming it will be) makes you hesitant of jumping in. 
  Then when you finally "take the plunge" you have nothing to be anxious about. And sometimes, you find out the water is perfect & it's exhilarating! Approaching is the same way & the effects are almost identical.

4: I know I've already been rejected plenty of times in the past, but I'm just fine. It hasn't hurt me in any way, so I really have nothing to be afraid of. So, I just have to remind myself of that & "jump in".

5: I owe it to the women to introduce myself to them, because after all, I AM the coolest Mo-Fo in the room! So, it would be selfish & unfair of me to deny them that opportunity! heehee!! 

  I think about all the other schmucks that are gonna be using cheesy pickup lines, & boring them with stupid questions all night. That means, they're going to be SOOOO glad that I chat them up when I do. 

  In fact, they WANT me to approach them. (Heehee!!)

6: Don't be "outcome dependent". Meaning- don't go out with the goal of picking up a girl; go out with the intention of just meeting & talking to a few of them. Have fun! The rest falls into place if you can just do that much. 

Once I start telling myself these things, I start laughing at myself.

And when I'm laughing my mood is elevated & I feel great. 

When I feel great, I project it through confident, relaxed, natural body language.

Then, it's totally game on!!

The "Dog Crap" Opener:

I came up with the idea & worked up a script in my head.  I wanted to prove to myself that guys put waaaaaay too much focus on the "opener" & that what REALLY matters, is your follow-up.

It was supposed to go like this:
WOW! You must be the luckiest woman in town today! Because you ALMOST stepped in a pile of dog crap back there!!" 

Then before she can even reply I'll say, "Oh wait... my bad. It was just a leaf. But from here it looked a lot more grotesque.." (That was the plan anyway...)

The Attempt: (Her: About 5'5", thin, brunette with shorter hair & a couple visible tats. Looked like an aspiring model/hipster type in her mid-late 20's - So I thought she would have a sense of humor & not take offense if this bombs. I'd rate her an 8 - 8.5) 

The whole conversation was about 2-3 minutes)

As I approached & started to speak, I had a quick flash of anxiety & thought to myself, "Am I really doing this?? Well, too late to stop now, because here come the words..."

**the conversation isn't exactly word for word, & I don't remember everything.. but the context & overall flow went like this**

So there I was, about to test my theory.  But.... I couldn't remember exactly what I planned on saying!

 (My mind sort of blanked out & I only remembered that it had something to do with "crap" & "being lucky".) So I basically just bumbled my way through it, half laughing at the same time.

I blurt out- "You're pretty lucky.. you stepped right over that pile of crap back there" (again, I'm sort of giggling as I'm saying it) She looked puzzled & confused for a second & then looked back to where I was pointing. 

That's when my memory returned!! And I realized my next line was supposed to be "Oh, my bad, it was just a leaf. But from here it looked a lot more grotesque."

However; there was no leaf.... In fact, there was nothing but a flat, completely debris-free section of sidewalk.

Now, the full blown wave of laughter sets in with me... (which thankfully, laughter is contagious!!) and SHE starts laughing because I am.

So at this point I say to myself, "aaahhhh fuck it! Just wing it from here genius!!..."

I said, "Ok, here's the deal... I really just wanted to stop you because you caught my eye. I'm Mark."

Her: (laughing) "Hi, I'm Kate."

Me: "Hello Kate, It's very nice to meet you, & lucky for you, you did NOT step in a pile of dog crap today. I hope your lucky streak continues." 

Her: (still laughing) "Oh me too!"

Me: Ok, as long as I'm harassing you at the moment & you're being a good sport about it, you wouldn't happen to do any modeling do you? Because, you have that sort of model-ish look about you.."

Her:"Actually yes... but just part time. nothing serious though. Mainly just local stuff & just to update my portfolio."

Me:"Very cool! It's good to have ambition & do things you enjoy. You seem to have a great sense of humor too. I mean, you're laughing & smiling even after I made up some (air quotes) crappy story.."(laughing harder now)

Her: "HAAAHAAHAHAHAA!!!"

Me:"Well, I better let you be on your way... Besides, I actually have more responsible things to do than harass people. haha! But lets swap numbers really quick. I'd love to find out if you make it through the rest of the day with clean shoes." (wink)

Her: "Yeah! I'll let you know how I do! hahaha!"

**Exchange Digits**

Me: Awesome, it was a pleasure to meet you. Have a fabulous rest of the day."

**Insert friendly hug**

Her:"Thanks, & you too.. see ya later."

So, I start walking back to my car, shaking my head in partial disbelief & laughing.... I say to myself, "How in the world???.... "

Once I realized I messed up my "script" & started laughing, I just felt more relaxed. Especially when SHE started laughing too. 

So, everything from that point on was just genuine, natural personality coming through. I didn't even think about Body language or what to say next. I was simply "IN STATE".

I definitely want to try this one again, and see if I can keep more composure, just to see if that changes the reactions/results.

But... it did show me that sometimes, we make too big a deal about the "opener” itself, when what matters more is, what you do AFTERWARDS. 

Anyway,

 Later that evening, I get a text around 6:00. (Guess who it was from??) Yep, Kate. 
(Here's our exchange)

She said: "Hi Mark it's Kate. I made it the whole day without getting my shoes dirty. LOL"

ME: "Heya! Should I really believe that? Or are you just trying to impress me? ;o)"

Her: "Lol really! I'll send u a pic if I have to."

ME: "No no... I believe you. But if it makes YOU feel better, then by all means do! haha!"

Her: "Haha! This has been the funniest day of my life"

Me: "That could be taken in several ways, so I may or may not be frightened"

Her: "It's totally good!! Promise!!"

Me: "So, you LIKED the fake dog crap story??" 

Her: "OMG!! Stop making me laugh!! It wasn't so much the story but more you laughing and being so different."

Me: "Fair enough. I'll accept that. :o) So... send the picture already... seeing as you offered."

Her: "I could do that. But maybe you should check it for yourself"

Me: "Kate... Are you trying to ask me out/invite me to meet you this evening?"

Her: "maybe"

ME: "Ohh... Fine! I'll ask YOU!! Hey Kate, Meet me for a drink & bring "the shoes" ;o).

Her: :o)  LOLOL! You got it. Where should we meet?

Me: "Well, I'm gonna be at the Wildhorse around 9:04PM"

Her: "LOL! OK but why 9:04?"

Me: "Because 9:00 is too early for me. (long story, tell u some other time) :o)~"

Her: "OMG! haha ok 9:04 it is!!

Fast forward.....
We meet at the Wildhorse. (Her shoes WERE in fact clean!) LOL!

Anyway, we hung out for a bit.... and then...
I won't divulge details because, I'm considerate like that... (and that is the ONLY reason!) haha! 

*I should also note that Kate was specifically curious about my comment "You caught my eye".
That seemed to be complimentary, but sparked enough curiosity & mysteriousness to cause attraction. 
  I never DID say "I thought you were cute / pretty / beautiful/ gorgeous"... etc. But...It was just enough to trigger an emotional response.  (And combined with the initial shock of the "crap" opener & the laughter, she was hooked!)

So, It's not what you SAY in your opener that really matters... it's HOW you execute it & what you follow it up with.

-Be Unique!!